Hello all,

Ok, first time writing something like this, because it goes against all of my resolve. I'll give you the story first though, and then my ultimate issue. A few facts first: my current partner is has depression and seemingly split personalities, a bright intellectual, this is not and overstatement either, this post is in regards to the fact that, I've been unable to save her. Please be vigilant and read on, you'll be the first to read this...

PART 1

When I was younger I had a hell of a lot of things wrong with me, mentally. OCD, ADHD were the main culprits, and I did a lot of things, fairly uncontrollably, I had a few psychologists study me, tests done, slight autistic tenancies arose, you don't need further details, but I was indeed uncontrollable and several times I was nearly 'given away' from my parents, it must have been hard for them... so... I got to about 12-13 years old and... I vividly remember this moment... I looked up out of my window, at the torn sky and then on the radio, I won't name it, but it's a sort of operatic, now, yes, this is just some song, by a band, by a human, but, something then, right at that moment... changed me... the song moved me, it was a very strange epiphany almost. I started to get better, everything... got better, my personality, temperament, I just now... believed in something, and that something had given me strength, a lot of it...

END PART 1

PART 2
6-7 years later, and i'm pretty much normal and also still carrying that strength... I was off to university, and I meet low and behold, my first love. Now, details aside, keeping this short, a 5 year relationship, perfect, now that is just a word, but I don't mean, the 'set up' of the relationship, I mean the actual existence of it, and the love that was in it. Here is where things come together now sorry, this girl I loved, disappeared and in time, someone replaced her, someone who in the end, had ended up like everyone else, I tried my hardest to save her from her pride, her superficiality that had developed, but the person I once knew, was lost, we split up, I couldn't stomach it any longer, I have a VERY strong view on relationships, jobs do not matter, common physical interests such as sports, hobbies, food drink, do not matter, it is WHO the person is, that matters, don't get me wrong, the ironic thing is, I could do everything this girl wanted to do, and I did, they just weren't my 'ultimate' goals, I take pride in my fitness, intelligence and morals. So... now, sorry for the actual long story, but it is shorter than you can imagine! This strengthened my resolve, this event, I was right, about relationships, sure, but, I failed to save her... and this sounds odd, but I have saved many people from a multitude of different things, and... I have saved myself, every-time something has kicked me about, something that should have scarred me and turned me into depression, I fought against and won. The fact I lost vs her downfall... worried me. I am a warrior at heart, body and mind... I just can't not save people...

END PART 2

PART 3
So, after pulling myself from an almost abyss I made for myself that I couldn't in-fact do anything to help my ex, it had strengthened me again... although, of course, this comes with it's side affects, now I am even MORE inclined to help people. Yes, I won't be affected any-more, it doesn't really emotional affect me, nor will I accept anything less now, BUT, I have met a new girl, 2 years soon, we are only seeing each other, I, do not love her, but I am a friend and partner right now, I do not see myself continuing to be romantically involved. So here is where you the reader come in. About a few months in, things occur that really throw her off, into some insanity... anger etc. She tells me, she has had depression for a while now, and has some rubbish drugs that 'calm her'... challenge accepted my heart said... is it a fool? So now, it has gotten worse and worse as she now relies on me, and I have told her, I would help her, no matter what, I would always be there, which I will be... but... it hasn't been enough... I have saved so many people, but really... can I not save someone from depression... I bring her up, and she falls again, she tries to throw insults, they go over my head, and she knows she doesn't mean them, but then, again, something happens, and she is out of it again, she just sinks! My words are so strong, I know what to say now... so why won't they work... my time, effort, money, 'love' have not been enough, I give her all my strength.... but... yeh, you can see my problem.

I can't stop trying. Something won't let me. She has exclaimed there is nothing else after me... yes she means 'that'. What should I do?

Her parents sort of know, but not to this extent, she has seen therapists, she doesn't believe a word they say, we talk every night, she is 22-25, no job, friends, she lives with her parents, her depression is based on things that have been 'taken' from her, physically, potentially and theoretically, etc. I am 26, my own place, great job. I'm strong... but... what happens when, I run out of, ideas, or, am I still not strong enough?

Thanks for reading.