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Originally Posted by summeryoga
I think this is a huge insight on your part!
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Thanks!!
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Do you, intellectually at least, see that the jealousy piece might be a manifestation of idealizing that person?
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Of course, this is part of the process.. It's not at the initial stage though... Occurs later, and by that it can be a few days later.. not a few months later.
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And inside, do you realize that they/she is actually just as f***ed up as the rest of us, but maybe adapting differently or better in certain situations?
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Depends on the person... In some cases yes. If they themselves have a mental illness I'm beginning to realize they are just as F**ked up as me.. (not sure I fully believe).. With a NON I'm not sure...
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The person you make them up to be is not real.
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True!! Easier said then done. Since most of us, if not all, have interpersonal relationship issues.
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I know you know this, C, but if you replaced that jealousy with empathetic respect instead, who knows what could come of your relationships?
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No opinion really.. I haven't given this much thought..
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Most important of all, C: Have you ever said directly to a woman that you feel this way- jealous and fearful? Most women prefer directness to sudden changes in behavior that they can't understand. I'd be curious to see if you grew your intimicy with women if you were upfront about your inner experiences.
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I think it's important to realize what I wrote about is just not in regards to SO, but just as relevent in friendships. I don't think I'd have a problem explaining how I feel, depending on the person. In terms of an intimate relationship, probably not. Women always say they wanna hear this type of s**t until they hear it, and then it's a turnoff...