Suicide can be part of depression. I know for myself I am very depressed. I try to look out for all those positive signs.... Sun shining, children laughing, flower blossoming... I try to look forward and be curious about the future. But reality is that sometimes (and great fully at the moment it isn't such a time) the pain is unbearable. I have chronic physical pain, which, at the moment, gets regulated by medication. but when this medication doesn't work I am constantly in physical pain. Constantly being 24/7. No sleep because of pain (there are naps because eventually I am too exhausted), no movement without pain... No so called cure neither. Those are the times I don't want to live anymore. Then there is the pain from my depression/ mental health.

One thing what I noticed about people posting on here is that they feel responsible for causing pain in case of suicide. Me too. I have a son, a mother, a partner, a brother, an ex husband, friends.... And when I think of them I have a reason to live. Even if it is not to cause pain by not living. Then there is that one good moment... The one you feel nearly without realising. The one where, just for a split second you don't feel the pain. that is the hope.... The hope that, if I can feel hope for one split second I might be able to feel it again ... And maybe again.

Getting to the point where I want to live is my dream. The wish to dream is my ticket out... How about you?