I got my answer today on this and I didn't even ask! I last emailed T Friday. She told me in session today, "I've been thinking about your email since I got it."
I love my T but REALLY??!! I wasn't sui*, SI, or anything! In fact, here's the entirety of the email:
In a nutshell, I still don't know what I believe. I feel just as agnostic as I did three years ago. Have I been pretending to have a faith I don't possess? Is that why I cannot seem to free-fall, to let go? My mind and heart are at war. Please pray for me. I won't bother you again.