Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa.recovering
I was taught to open myself to all thoughts, not judging them or trying to avoid them. (It's like trying to not think of a pink elephant once you think about it...the more you push, the more it pushes back!) My psychologist and I would meditate together, and I'd also meditate alone...letting my thoughts flow by without judgement.
|
That's what's worked for me, too. For me, unwanted thoughts are a sign that there's something I'm resisting so (like the elephant) it keeps popping up in one form after another, calling for my attention.
I used to think my subconscious mind (or something like it) was out to get me by doing things behind my back that I didn't want. It took me a long time to discover that I'd been turning parts of myself into a problem, a scapegoat, even an enemy simply by refusing to accept them:
- I didn't like to go to school.
- I had to go to school or (obviously) terrible things would happen.
- It wasn't my idea not to like school -- those negative thoughts were obviously coming from my subconscious (a.k.a, "the devil made me do it").
- "Shut up, darned subconscious, and leave me alone! I'd like school just fine if it weren't for you!"
- "Help, somebody! I'm having all these negative thoughts and they won't let me be!"
Even when I was able to turn off a negative thought or somehow distract myself, I found I'd have trouble remembering what I read or coming up with ideas for term papers. It was as if, when I wasn't letting myself think "negative" thoughts, I'd have trouble thinking anything at all. Well, not
anything -- I seemed to function just fine and to be able to do lots of things well, as long as they had nothing to do with school.
Back to thinking (or not) about elephants, for a moment -- here's something I once posted on that subject:
Quote:
Originally Posted by FooZe
I didn't get unwanted thoughts that often but I used to really hate them because it seemed like I didn't have any control over them. Quite the opposite: the harder I'd try to make them go away, the more they'd keep coming back. I'd read about that little experiment (or demonstration, or whatever it is) where you try not to think of a white elephant (it's always a white elephant, for some reason) -- and of course that was all it ever took to get me thinking about white elephants for the next 15 minutes. I'd make up my mind to really concentrate hard on something else, a green goat maybe, but in half a minute at the most, there would be the darned elephant peeking out from behind something. 
"For the next 15 minutes," I said. So what would happen after that? I don't know, I guess I forgot to not think of a white elephant. I also started to notice that there had been many days when I'd never once tried not to think of a white elephant -- and never once thought of a white elephant. How very strange.
I'm not exactly sure how I got to this next point, but after a few years of trying this dumb try-not-to-think-of-a-white-elephant game I was getting pretty bored with it. One time I decided I'd try once again (ho-hum!) not to think of a white elephant, but I really didn't care in the least if I thought of a white elephant or not. That was all -- about fifteen minutes later I realized I never had gotten around to thinking (or not thinking) of a white elephant. I'd forgotten all about it. |