An Excellent Technique To Stop Unwanted Thoughts

One of the most important psychological truths that a person wishing to achieve a healthy mind must comprehend is that their thoughts govern their future behavior as well as their current moods.We truly are or will become what our thoughts create for us.One of my very favorite slogans is,"You are not what you think you are but what you think - you are." So for instance if you think stressful thoughts you can expect to start feeling anxious.Most importantly, repeated thoughts about anything are treated as instructions to carry out by your subconscious mind.Our subconscious mind does not know that we are thinking about things we do NOT want to occur.To the contrary it assumes that everything we think about repeatedly,we want it to work on and then make occur in our lives.This is why it is so crucial to keep negative thoughts out of our minds.The only exception of course occurs when we are seeking help from a counselor or therapist during our brief question and answer consultations with them.

There is a very simple technique you can use to keep your mind free of toxic and self-destructive thoughts.There are three steps that must be followed very CONSISTENTLY.The technique normally takes a couple of weeks of intensive practice before it starts to kick in.Eventually it will start to work almost automatically if you practice it sufficiently.

The first step is the hardest.You must monitor ALL of your thoughts and then silently label EVERY one of them either positive or negative.Negative thoughts include ALL depressing,anxiety or self-criticism words that occur to you.

The second step is to IMMEDIATELY remove ALL negative thoughts because if allowed to remain,they will act as a poison in your mind.You do this by yelling at yourself,silently if you are with people of course.Always yell the same disciplinary words so that your mind will learn to expect its punishment for wrong thinking.Good disciplinary words are STOP,SHUT UP or NO MORE OF THAT.Experiment until you find words that seem to have a strong effect on you and then stick with those words.In the beginning you may need to use this step hundreds of times a day because junk thoughts have a tendency to frequently keep re-occurring.

The third step needs to be implemented as soon as you finish yelling at yourself.Step two will temporarily make your mind go blank.Then quickly fill up the vacuum in your mind with new positive thoughts that will require your concentration to remember.Memorize song lyrics,a Bible passage or lengthy poem you can start repeating to occupy your mind which will help to prevent the junk thoughts from re-entering.You can also start to think about complex plans or a decision you must make that will work in a similar attention-grabbing fashion.

This technique can also be used,starting at least 30 min. before you go to bed,to prevent insomnia.The only difference is that you must eliminate ALMOST ALL thoughts from your mind because in order to sleep both your body and your mind must be relaxed.The only difference between nighttime and daytime use is that at night you must NOT yell at yourself.Just silently and gently keep repeating your disciplinary words every time ANY thought occurs to you.

That's it;a very simple technique that does however require a great deal of very CONSISTENT practice to train your mind to behave properly.

Hi Dr Frank - thanks for sharing that. I guess for me that is the total opposite of what I am learning to do with mindfulness, in not labelling or judging my thoughts or myself - maybe it is useful for some people but not those who are already good at being very self critical and who "punish" themselves - I think this may increase SI with me if I were to get it "wrong".

SD

Me, too. I've been taught to notice the feelings and not judge them as "negative" and thus get annoyed w/ myself for having them. At the same time, I should not act on them or feed into them. If I make this into a self-critique, then I have difficulties differentiating between *I* am bad for having negative feelings vs. these negative feelings are bad to have. Not fighting them, but redirecting my attention to more positive places has been useful. I also can't imagine yelling at myself any more than I do! This is not how I (or anyone else) best get through to myself, change neural pathways or behaviors...

I'm wondering what school of thought this technique comes from and to what type of people it is directed?

I am going to give this the old college try, and tonight, to boot. however, my wandering mind (and the fact that I followed it wherever I wandered) was the main reason that it took me more than three decades to get through college.

Disciplinary words? Hmmmm....

What you posted is the exact opposite of what I used to overcome my intrusive, OCD-related thoughts.

I was taught to open myself to all thoughts, not judging them or trying to avoid them. (It's like trying to not think of a pink elephant once you think about it...the more you push, the more it pushes back!) My psychologist and I would meditate together, and I'd also meditate alone...letting my thoughts flow by without judgement.

It was very difficult to face the intrusive thoughts, but the more I exposed myself to them, the less scary they became. Your method seems like the exact opposite of what my psychologist would have recommended.

And I'm talking about Exposure Response Prevention (ERP)...you've probably heard of it before. What you describe is EXACTLY what I used to do before getting therapy...and 4 hospitalizations later, I realized that it wasn't working!

Not saying that it won't work for someone, but your method definitely didn't work for me.

Since you typed exactly what I was thinking, I'm just gonna say "ditto!"

I'm still struggling with NOT labeling my thoughts...it's something I've done all my life, and it's very hard to unlearn, very hard to let myself not be critical or "yell" at myself for having certain thoughts.

Acceptance is so very, very hard, but I am seeing progress, and that's what's important to me.

Those that are using mindfulness. The approach is different because it is pulled from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Which believes your EMOTIONS drive your thoughts, drive your behavior. So you learn to tolerate emotion and not the thoughts necessarily.

I wonder why for some-- what Dr.Frank shared hasn't worked.... but those people say the very opposite worked.... hmmm
I truly wonder why that is

there must be a difference in some people's mind process why one way works for some and another way works for others.....

I worked with a psychologist similar to what melissa posted and I got absolutely NOTHING from that way of thinking.... I stayed stuck.... I already knew the thoughts and accepted them completely. -- "that I was neglected and repeatedly abused coz I have no value"-- I had so accepted that and did even more so with that psychologist that I was MORE stuck than ever....

I see now that I needed a CHANGE of thinking NOT accepting the thinking....
but I can't wrap my head around just what it is that makes one technique work for some and another technique work for others....

well, anyway-- thanks for sharing this interesting technique

fins

stormyangels-- I think I was working on my post when you posted....

is that what melissa was talking about - "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy"?... is that what that is? if so I'm so glad the T. I see now doesn't do that with me.... yipes... I hated that kind of therapy!

Why should any thoughts be considered unwanted?

http://www.panhala.net/Archive/The_Guest_House.html

DBT teaches that thoughts drive emotions, not the other way around. My T says there is always a thought that precedes any emotion.

Perhaps our training has been different. I stand behind my training and this is the way I train others and present it in session.

Adding: DBTs purpose is for those that struggle with emotional regulation. Changing thoughts is not possible because emotion has hijacked the brain thus CBT fails. So DBT focuses on having to soothe the emotions before thoughts.

Just wanted to say that what I was talking about wasn't based on DBT. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is a common treatment for OCD:

http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_...reatments.html

Although on that page it uses compulsions as the bigger example, it was very effective for me with my obsessions. CBT and the practice of mindfulness were also very helpful in my treatment. Judging my thoughts as "good" or "bad" would cause such horrible guilt and stress, to the point where I was seriously considering suicide (mind you, my OCD was very severe compared to most cases).

I can go along with steps 1 and 3. I think noticing your negative thought patterns and exchanging them for more positive ones is pretty healthy. How many times have I been caught in a negative thought spiral? Especially at 2am, I can get pretty dark. I've actually been working hard at this for the last week or so: I recite poems or mantras or just focus on my breathing when I notice myself dwelling on painful memories or feelings of despair.

But, I agree with a lot of people here that there doesn't seem to be much value in yelling at yourself. Telling yourself to "shut up"? I don't use those words to anyone! Why do we have to label our thoughts and beat ourself up about it? Most of us do that too much anyway. Just gently and compassionately notice what is happening and exchange it for something healthy.

(This makes me remember when I was training my puppy. If I caught her chewing something she wasn't allowed to chew- my favorite shoes or a book were her favorite- I wouldn't yell or smack her, I'd just entice her with something wonderful like a rawhide. No punishment necessary. Just a fair exchange and we both win)

I will not disavow my thoughts or yell at myself.

What is to be learned if we don't move the other direction, move towards these thoughts to find out more about them, and what they say about us? We embrace them and look at them and resolve the things that create them.

I suffer from PTSD. I have told my negative thoughts to shup up many times. Has it worked? Briefly. They return quickly.

I have tried reciting prayers and mantras to replace the negative thoughts. I would literally have to do this all day. Did it help? No.

Replace the negative with positive thoughts? What are those? Positive thoughts seem like delusions to me.

I have just thought...what if I tried to use this technique on a friend or family member's thoughts? For example...

Friend: Melissa, I've been thinking of cutting myself...I don't know what to do.
My Response: SHUT UP. Enough of that, think of something better. NOW!

Seems harsh to do it to someone else, why should we be that harsh on ourselves?

UHG- I have combat PTSD and I suffer from really intrusive thoughts. I say a lot of mantras. All day long. And most of the night It actually is starting to help me.

Sometimes positive thoughts are impossible, I know. So I'll just say something simple like: "I am right here. I am taking a breath". Or I'll recite a nursery rhyme. Anything to break that downward cycle. I can go back to it later (in t, maybe) but this is just to learn a new thought habit.

As a reminder, not all advice you read online or in our community is going to work for everyone. If it doesn't work for you, that's fine... No need to pass judgment on the advice because of it. Share your experiences but keep things focused on what you feel.

Thanks,
DocJohn

Is there any empirical support for this technique?

That's what's worked for me, too. For me, unwanted thoughts are a sign that there's something I'm resisting so (like the elephant) it keeps popping up in one form after another, calling for my attention.

I used to think my subconscious mind (or something like it) was out to get me by doing things behind my back that I didn't want. It took me a long time to discover that I'd been turning parts of myself into a problem, a scapegoat, even an enemy simply by refusing to accept them:

• I didn't like to go to school.

• I had to go to school or (obviously) terrible things would happen.

• It wasn't my idea not to like school -- those negative thoughts were obviously coming from my subconscious (a.k.a, "the devil made me do it").

• "Shut up, darned subconscious, and leave me alone! I'd like school just fine if it weren't for you!"

• "Help, somebody! I'm having all these negative thoughts and they won't let me be!"

Even when I was able to turn off a negative thought or somehow distract myself, I found I'd have trouble remembering what I read or coming up with ideas for term papers. It was as if, when I wasn't letting myself think "negative" thoughts, I'd have trouble thinking anything at all. Well, not anything -- I seemed to function just fine and to be able to do lots of things well, as long as they had nothing to do with school.

Back to thinking (or not) about elephants, for a moment -- here's something I once posted on that subject:

Yawn. .

I appreciate this comment.

some judgmental replies(in a "support" site) may contribute to why some of us fragile beings rarely, if ever-- create a thread, or even post for that matter......
was raised with adult "tunnel vision"- where "one size fits all" (MUST fit all!!)--was pounded in our heads...
ugh....
yipes!

This is a good question to ask. On the other hand, I guess we're supposed to "focus on what we feel?"

I'm wondering here, and I began with a very open mind on this and thought I might try it.

I'm going to ask again....why would any thoughts be unwanted? I mean...they might not be liked; they might be frightening, but couldn't they be transformed into something intriguing, useful, even illuminating in the end?

Simply banishing them strikes me as the most unproductive approach of all!

I'm simply asking here.....

Someone told me once: the facts are always friendly. I remembered that once when at a doctor's office receivinig a bad diagnosis. Isn't it better to know? I didn't like what I heard but stopping that unwanted piece of information wasn't an option.

I'll stop now. I'm having a nervous ridiculous day but I do wonder....