That last sentence is a key one. You have almost gone back to cutting. Have you made a list of pro's and con's for each option? And if so, did it help any? Sometimes that helps. Also, maybe a trial time away from him would give you a better idea. You said you are facing another possible surgery. Could you maybe stay at your mom's with your son, during the surgery time? That will give you an idea of the support you can get, deserve to get, when you are ill or recovering.

The other option is going to one of the two safe places for a week or two and see how it feels to you and your son. Is he happier away from K? Are you happier?

I hope you are able, in the end, to make the best decision for you and your son.

Also, you need to do what is best for the two of you (son and you) and not worry about the people at work that will miss you. That is their responsibiltiy, no yours. I am sure they will be adult enough to get over it in time.