I'm seeingmy psychiatrist on Tuesday and the psychologist Wednesday. I don't know what I am going to say to either of them. When I saw the psychologist last week I had already been triggered by some stuff at work and was feeling low. We spent a lot of time talking about how I can deal with feeling triggered. But I don't seem to have come up for air since then. The pressure at work is immense - not just me but lots of staff have been saying that they are not coping with the workload at the moment. It feels like I can't get space to take a breather. I know it is foolish, but I am almost afraid to admit to how I am feeling because I am afraid of disappointing them, especially my T. I'm trying to remind myself that I am safe now, that I have people who care for me and that I am coping, but my emotions fight against all those assertions and all I can see is a massive workload and too many issues for me to cope with. I'd just like a break to get my head above water. I'm trying to be more assertive and stand up for myself, but it is such hard work and such a scary thing to do. My insiders are variously scared / angry / upset and I'm afraid to lift the lid and really look at how they are feeling and why. Even making this post feels like an incredibly risky thing to do - but if I don't tell anyone how I am feeling, how can anyone point me in the direction of improvement or offer me support?



C