Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
HOW on earth do you do this and then go back the next time??? I didn't tell him anything so detailed and I am dying inside at the thought of seeing him next week. Three days now until I see him, if I don't cancel.
You know, maybe I'm done with therapy. I totally understand why I feel the way I do. I even understand why I want to give him a bl** job inside of having sex with him. It's about liking him and wanting to give him pleasure, but also about control. I am sick of how in control he is and it would be a lot of fun to just make him scream in pleasure. And I hate feeling exposed so there's no way I want to get naked with him. So, given that I understand that, and realize now why I suddenly started feeling so intensely about him, I can totally quit now, right?
sigh. Please tell me HOW to go back without feeling like crawling under his desk or sitting there with a sack over my head.  |
NO, MKAC, DON'T QUIT! To borrow one of my T's favorite and most useful phrases when I feel unable to handle the embarrassment -- "You can do this." You can. It's very difficult, and it really helps to have a T who is unflappable, but with practice it does get easier.
__________________
Conversation with my therapist:
Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."
It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
|