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Wait a minute. I'm confused about the draws thing. Are you saying that he went through your underwear drawer? I couldn't get over the whole underwear thing...Ok, on to the post...
From the outside looking in...And just to let you know a little about myself, I'm not married, but have been in a relationship for almost 9 nine years with my child's father. First of all, taking in a spouse's parent is alot of responsibility. You are not at fault. You have 4 kids? 4? And you are taking care of his father too? AND his father has 4 kids who can take care of him? Listen, you already have alot of responsibility with 4 kids. Your husband, as you stated, is not even contributing his fair share of taking care of his own father. Ok, so you are married. So. That doesn't mean that you have to take of the responsibility on your own. This is HIS father. You two have no privacy and his father is a perv. Taking care of an elderly person can be like taking care of a child. Your husband and his brothers and sisters need to step up and start sharing the responsibility. You have put in 8 years taking care of him. Your husband is being insensitive by brushing off how you feel. Look, I won't lie, this can be a very sticky situation because it causes rift between your relationship and your home. If you say that grandpa has to leave then you look like the bad guy. 8 years is a long time. You need to speak with your husband and try to make him understand your view point. Go into the conversation calm and collect. Don't use words that will make him defensive. Be honest about how you feel and come up with alternatives and time frames for those alternatives. Can he live with another child? I would suggest having a home health aid help you but your issue is not only you taking care of him, but you feeling uncomfortable in your own home. Grandpa is nosey and a perv. I completely understand that when you marry someone, you are in a sense marrying his family and there are certain things that come with the territory. However, this situation isn't right. The responsibility of taking care of HIS father should not rest on your shoulders. This man has other siblings that can help in this situation. If those siblings live far away, then he needs to come up with another plan. I wish you luck....
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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