I haven't spoke to my 13 yr old in three weeks, tough love. Everyone is supportive but they dont feel the pain i am feeling. I am having trouble eating, having nightmares, crying constantly, I feel week and I just want to crawl up in a ball. She is in a residental program because she needed help (at 12 her to do list included lying, stealing, drinking, drugs, sneaking out at night, abusing me and her sister and the list goes on). Last time she came home she went to Dunkin Donuts and came home stoned, I immediately brought her back to her residental. They promoted her to an upgraded status that week because she was eligible before she left, even though she broke the rules at home. In anger I said that is great you can do what ever you want but that doesnt mean I feel comfortable bringing her home when she puts herself at risk. She did more wrong that weekend....she always does. When she is home though, I can see her, I can talk to her...I know she is ok and I am ok. Now, I dont see her, I haven't spoke to her and I am dying on the inside. I wonder if she knows I love her and support her STILL....I am scared she hates me and feels like I abandoned her, like she feels her dad did. I also think she is refusing to call me to prove to me who is the boss and who has control. I know she has problems, she is official diagnosised with ADHD, but now that her counselor has even said she think there is more to her than that, I was looking around and Histrionic Personality disorder fits her completely. All the people helping her are ok with things being done in a week or maybe me talking to her next week...a day is just a day no big deal. A day to me is 24 hours, 1440 minutes I wait to hear something about her. I am so confused and sad, I am not sure how much more I can take.
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