Hi everyone,
Would love to get some feedback from outside of my friends and family regarding my marriage.
Been married 5 years and have a 4 year old son and one on the way. We've had problems almost from the start (within the first year). Found out he had a drug and alcohol problem and he went to rehab. Then just last December found out he's been frequenting strip clubs and gambling. Says he's stopped doing that because "it upsets me so much." That worries me because he doesn't see it as a problem in and of itself (with regard to his addiction issues). That's the basic background but the rest of the story is that I just feel like crap most days in this relationship. Tonight he yelled at me that I am always on his back and he's f'ing sick of it. To "punish" me he slammed the front door and stomped away even though he'd promised our son he'd play with him. So I was left with a crying 4 year old and feeling like I just want to cry as well. I've told him before (because, yes, this scenario is a frequent one) that I don't care how mad he is at me please don't take it out on our son.
So you might be wondering, why stay at all? I know it might sound petty but I worry about how I would financially survive (I currently don't work). I also - of course! - worry about how it would affect my son. And believe me I understand that living in this kind of environment is affecting him as well...but which is worse? Not being able to have a stay-at-home mom and have his life change so dramatically or just putting my best face forward and trying to deal with this stuff at home?
We are in counseling. I go individually and he and I go once a month (that's all I could get him to agree on). I feel like there are no good solutions to this situation...that whatever decision I make it can't end well.
Anyway, I would love to hear some feedback. Thank you in advance.