(((Rose))),

First there is no real timeline to whether something has already been discussed or not here. New members come in all the time so things get repeated a lot, so don't feel like you have to be caught up somehow. Just say or ask anything that comes up really.

I don't think that it is a good idea to think of PTSD as a bully to be honest. That is allowing us to think that our brains are trying to hurt us or make life hard for us on purpose and that just isn't true. As hard as it might seem to be, we actually have to consider this more of a deep injury and now we are finally at a point where we just have to address it by working through it. Thinking of PTSD as an enemy will only leed to feeding into it by getting angry or too frustrated to pay attention to what REALLY needs to be addressed with a lot of understanding and patience on our part.

Lets face it, we were all hurt and it effected us a lot more than we ever realized. These events where we are triggered and we seem to lose control in some way are all important things to stop, try to calm down as much as possible and understand that something new is there that we need to pay attention to and figure out so we can take the power of the disturbance away. And the one thing ALL of us have to understand is that this WILL TAKE TIME AND PATIENCE to work through.

I have to say that I am not having a very good day myself. I am still struggling with the whole picture and still not believing that this PTSD can take place. I know that other people do NOT get it, can't even imagine it and it devides me in many ways. And yes, it can be so tiring as well. I personally wish that I could just go someplace peaceful that is NOT IN ANY WAY demanding and just be able to focus on it without having to also deal with all the things that I am dealing with. It is on my if only list big time.

The road to recovery with PTSD is up and down, it is not just all up hill or a level line of progress. The MOST important thing to establish is DEFINITE safe places. A safe place with a T that we can talk things out with. Talking, talking, talking is very important to healing and VALIDATION, VALIDATION, VALIDATION is also important to healing as well. And also having a SAFE place to go and rest and self sooth when we have the difficult days where triggers come up bringing some very troubling emotions out with them.

Rose, everything that triggers you is important, even an inexpensive pair of shoes that look nice anyway but don't have the right name or price tag that presents some kind of status or worthiness. It might not seem important, but does mean something probably much deeper than just something simple. And anyone who has PTSD gets to a point where nothing is as trivial as it seems, it is, infact important. And as I mentioned, it can lead to a deep injury that you are not yet aware of yet. BUT, if you can laugh about it, that is GREAT too.

The important thing with PTSD is to slowly get everything on the table in front of you.
It is not about running away from triggers, we all did in that in the past, it didn't work as well as we thought right? Well some people have a stronger base and can manage and they will never understand PTSD. But a good therapist who has learned about PTSD, knows it is real and challenging and that it is important to work with a patient, validate them, listen and help them get those cards on the table where they finally grieve it, and make peace with their core issues.

There should be no shame with PTSD, there has to be an acknowledement that no matter what comes forward and how much it can present a feeling of guilt or shame, it is connected to somethings NONE of us DESERVED to have happen to us. And ALL of us were not prepared to experience some of the troubling things that happened to us. And yes, when things come forward, they come with a lot of emotional duress and discomfort and we ALL have to understand that it is real and a challenge and while many people don't have a clue, there are those that do. Yeah, it can be dam lonely, I hear you, me too.

Personally I had never even imagined that the brain could store all this the way it does. Yes, I feel betrayed by it, I thought I had learned how to cope and SURVIVE, but now I have this that tells me I didn't really somehow? Oh, how confusing that is, right?

What I can say is that people DO recover from this, and they do say that they have a much deeper understanding than the average person. So if we all hang in there I guess we will all be in this special group of people that have this much deeper understanding about human beings and life as well. And yes, it has a lot of ups and downs to pass through before that level of understanding finally takes place. Oh how I wish it could just be tomarrow right?

Yes, I had a crappy day today, I do get quite a few of those. But they are not as bad as last year, last year was really hard on me.

Nothing is too trivial ok? Talk about anything, we are annonymous anyway right? Hey, somedays my eyes are so open and some days all I want to do is shut them too.
But I have seen improvement so I can say, it does get better with time. Don't bother putting a time limit to it, just let yourself walk through it until you get it all on the table and no longer hide in shame or fear about anything. Then you can sort through it and grieve it and begin to truely rise above.

((((Hugs)))))
Open Eyes