I can't tell if I'm capable of love, or if I just THINK I'm in love but I secretly have some evil motive.

I often feel like an evil narcisstic incapable of really empathizing with people...

Its probably for this reason that, at 23, I've never had sex or a girlfriend. Girls flirt with me and I get nervous. I'm heterosexual and I masturbate quite often, but EVEN masturbation hurts now