i grew up with an abusive mother, who was suddenly even more so the past few years, even after i moved out two years ago. i cant get rid of the memories, and the memories come up out of nowhere and cause such anger. and with these memories, i start to "daydream" about horrible things happening to her, which really scares me. i consider myself a nice person, and to even hate someone bothers me. i dont want to hate her, and i dont want bad things to happen to her, yet i cant control the thoughts and feelings.
i am so angry at her and i feel like she hasnt gotten what she deserves, and yet i got abuse from her from the time i was a newborn and didnt deserve any of it. i wish she would at least feel bad about it, but she just continues it whenever we talk. which is why i dont talk to her anymore, but still i cant get over the past. someone help me please??