I know depression can make me feel like that even when it's not the case, but unfortunately have had more than one experience that seems to confirm things don't get better and will get worse I mean that just seems how my life goes over all. But yeah I have PTSD as well and that can cause a lot of depression like symptoms to, especially the everything seems pointless feeling. As well as making my anxiety worse.

I have a few friends/family members that are helpful in some ways...and I still need to scedule an appointment or something somewhere that offers services I can afford so services that don't cost anything before I'd know if I even can talk to a therapist. Hopefully I can actually have things assessed and diagnosed by an actual psychiatrist or something since therapy does not seem to really get very below the surface with me. I have gone to therapy in the past, and it was not very helpful at all, but maybe the CBT approach just doesn't work on me....I mean no matter how much I talk about it or force myself to think positively things in my life remain the same or get worse, and I feel the same. So the whole changing my thinking to change how I feel seems to stop at changing my thinking...and since it doesn't help that does not really motivate me to keep thinking positively. But I want to try and make an appointment or something, I'll see if I can today.