Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah
Thanks Granite...  lightbulb moment for me. THIS is what made me run. wow.
crap. crap. crap. This is exactly what happened. He told me he liked me. Then he initiated a few calls, kind of a safety check, but I didn't like him calling me. I freaked, felt claustrophobic, and bailed. classic I guess. |
Yeah, this is a huge problem for me. I'm aware of it and it's on the list of to-do's for therapy, but we haven't gotten to it yet.
Here's what I've figured out so far: If someone loves me, then they have expectations of me, and I won't be able to live up to them - I'll fail, and disappoint them. Love is a
burden, because it means that I'm responsible for someone else's happiness and it's too much, I can't do it, I'll fail. (this comes from my mom) Although I'm desperate for T to "love" me, when he shows any sign that he has positive feelings about me, I run away screaming. (Can you spell R U P T U R E?)
Hell, I'm going to be in therapy forever. Sigh.