My sister Lorraine.
She did the wrong thing by our parents, she abandoned them when they needed her, at the time I did not know what she had done or said to them. When Dad died I had mum and my other sister by my side as I rang L. and explained Dads passing. L. said "fine" so I hung up. None of her family came to Dad's funeral. Not my nephews or BIL. After that Mum and I moved interstate. It took 3 years and an obscure route that informed us of L's death. Mum and I can talk about her but to the rest of the family her name is taboo.
L. was sick at the time, I knew that, but emotions at the time made me forget. Now, after some reflection I am questioning whether she heard me properly before she said fine. I am also questioning, whether she even told any one. but. then she stopped caring about and even communicating with them one year before hand.
So am I feeling guilty and questioning my handling of this for a reason or for no reason. I love her. She was my sister. She hurt me at every opportunity she could but she was my sister. I cant say we really had many good times. I used to think we did. but on reflection I am kidding myself.
I guess this is all just another reason I call myself a big loozer and an idiot.
I cant not love them
But I can and DO not Like them.