Every one is ANGRY

My sister Lorraine.
She did the wrong thing by our parents, she abandoned them when they needed her, at the time I did not know what she had done or said to them. When Dad died I had mum and my other sister by my side as I rang L. and explained Dads passing. L. said "fine" so I hung up. None of her family came to Dad's funeral. Not my nephews or BIL. After that Mum and I moved interstate. It took 3 years and an obscure route that informed us of L's death. Mum and I can talk about her but to the rest of the family her name is taboo.
L. was sick at the time, I knew that, but emotions at the time made me forget. Now, after some reflection I am questioning whether she heard me properly before she said fine. I am also questioning, whether she even told any one. but. then she stopped caring about and even communicating with them one year before hand.
So am I feeling guilty and questioning my handling of this for a reason or for no reason. I love her. She was my sister. She hurt me at every opportunity she could but she was my sister. I cant say we really had many good times. I used to think we did. but on reflection I am kidding myself.
I guess this is all just another reason I call myself a big loozer and an idiot.
I cant not love them
But I can and DO not Like them.

It's unfortunate that the family didn't come to your Dad's funeral. But it's very possible that Lorraine was VERY sick at the time, and they may have been by her side and that's why they didn't come. It's too bad you didn't get some kind of explanation, but it sounds like communication has been at a premium between all of you.

Please give them the benefit of the doubt. I would bet that's why they didn't come. It horrible you weren't even told of Lorraine's passing! Even if they didn't get along with everyone, they SHOULD have informed your family of her death!

But holding on to this resentment only hurts YOU. It does NOt affect them at all. I keep repeating this saying but it's worth it: "Resentment is the poison I take to kill you." It only makes YOU sicker -- not them.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Thanks for that Leed.
I dont want to disagree, but I know she was not that sick at that time and now I know that she had cut off all communication from the aged care facility and from our parents one year prior..
We all lived within a five minute drive from one another and she drove past my home the day before to go grocery shopping.
My point is I dont know how I should feel.
Angry? Yes. Upset that she is gone? Yes. Angry they didnt come? Yes. Angry we were not told? Yes.
Unsure whether she heard me or understood what I was saying? That I am unsure of.

Five minutes apart? OUCH. Hmm - very interesting. There must be quite a history in that family.

Well, I can understand the anger. But, like the resentment - what good is it doing? It's hurting you more than anyone else. I DO think i'd probably feel the same way, but not for long because I don't like to suffer.

Who knows what Lorraine told the rest of the family? If she was angry, she could have told them all kinds of "stories" that weren't true. It's too bad that things like this happen in families but it does all too often. Then it leaves a big split in the family that never gets sewn up.

IF you can, try to get rid of the anger and just let it go. Sure, it's hard. But I doubt your Dad thinks it's worth it. And with the split in the family, he may have not wanted them there anyway.

Please take care of YOU - and heal yourself. God bless. Hugs, Lee