It does sound like a really big problem that's controlling your life. I would tend to say that there must be someone out there who you can access for help, who will actually be able to help you. My problems were initially controlling my life in a way that meant I was not able to live life at all. For me seeing a therapist has been the most helpful thing. I think the biggest thing about the process for me is that it does take commitment and hard work...and risks. To let my therapist help me change my life around I've had to be willing to take risks. Though my therapist has helped me every step of the way with those risks.

Have you tried therapy in combination with medication? I was originally against medication but I ended up taking it, for reasons other than obsessive thoughts. It really helped, almost immediately with obsessive thoughts I wasn't even aware I was having. It was like it turned down a deafening negative tape which was playing on a loop, constantly.

I'm not sure I can comment on different types of therapy as I've really only tried one sort myself. I think years of experience helps a lot, and I'd try to look for someone who has a lot of experience helping with the sorts of issues you want help with. If separation anxiety disorder is too specific I can imagine that experience with other types of anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorder could be helpful.