TRIGGER WARNING!!! Talk of rape.





My last session with T we were talking about the first and ever flasback that I had of the rape that happened to me when I was 10. T asked me if I told my husband about the flashback that I had. I said no and he asked why not. I said, because I have never really ever used the word rape with him as related to me. Before we got married, I shared with me that something had happened to me and he needed to know that. Did not go into details or anything. T encouraged me to explore why I didn't want to tell him any of it and if he is a safe person to tell.

Well, after having a horrible week and something happening the really triggered my feelings of being out of control/violated I decided that I really needed to be more detailed with my husband so he can understand more clearly what was going on with me. So, I told him tonight. He said he wasn't suprised that, rape was indeed what happend to me.. That has been what he thought all these years. He said I shouldn't ashamed, he is not ashamed of me, and it was not my fault.

It felt so good to tell somebody.. to use the word rape, instead of the incident to somebody other to my T. I think it has empowered to me keep sharing with my T more of the details and not keep it to myself so much!! Anyways, I just had to share this with somebody!!