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  #1  
Old Jun 13, 2012, 09:34 PM
healed84's Avatar
healed84 healed84 is offline
Young Butterfly
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
TRIGGER WARNING!!! Talk of rape.





My last session with T we were talking about the first and ever flasback that I had of the rape that happened to me when I was 10. T asked me if I told my husband about the flashback that I had. I said no and he asked why not. I said, because I have never really ever used the word rape with him as related to me. Before we got married, I shared with me that something had happened to me and he needed to know that. Did not go into details or anything. T encouraged me to explore why I didn't want to tell him any of it and if he is a safe person to tell.

Well, after having a horrible week and something happening the really triggered my feelings of being out of control/violated I decided that I really needed to be more detailed with my husband so he can understand more clearly what was going on with me. So, I told him tonight. He said he wasn't suprised that, rape was indeed what happend to me.. That has been what he thought all these years. He said I shouldn't ashamed, he is not ashamed of me, and it was not my fault.

It felt so good to tell somebody.. to use the word rape, instead of the incident to somebody other to my T. I think it has empowered to me keep sharing with my T more of the details and not keep it to myself so much!! Anyways, I just had to share this with somebody!!
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"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second."

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
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  #2  
Old Jun 13, 2012, 10:09 PM
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PurpleFlyingMonkeys PurpleFlyingMonkeys is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2009
Location: Louisianna
Posts: 1,473
I recently told my fiance about the past abuse I had never disclosed with anyone other than two t's. My t convinced me to tell him. It was one of the most incredible things to know he didn't blame me, to know he understood, to know he could tell before I even told him, and for him to still be with me, and not look at me any differently. It brought our relationship to a completely new level.

I am so happy for you that you have someone with you on this now. It's not you against your memories any more, you have support, you have someone who understands and cares, that's a precious precious thing. I am so happy that you have found this. While I am saddened at what you went through, I am happy for you in oppening up. It is great to know that some men really are that understanding isn't it? Take peace and comfort in knowing you are no longer alone in this battle, he's with you every step of the way
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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  #3  
Old Jun 14, 2012, 07:52 PM
athena.agathon's Avatar
athena.agathon athena.agathon is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Posts: 190
I wish you could 'like' things on here, and not just thank for them, because I would totally like this. Yay for you!
Thanks for this!
healed84, notablackbarbie, Open Eyes
  #4  
Old Jun 14, 2012, 08:41 PM
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Miss Jade Miss Jade is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: England
Posts: 47
Well done for being so brave. :-)
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Faith is taking the first step when you don't see the whole staircase.
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  #5  
Old Jun 18, 2012, 10:31 PM
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Big Mama Big Mama is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,191
Good for you. I hope to be where you are one day. I can't say the word "Rape" yet. My husband knows because I told him before we got married. But I was not certin it was rape. Now I am certin. I just thought it was assault of some sort. I concented out of fear for my life. It's scary to face your feelings. I hope you continue to grow and recover from this.
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  #6  
Old Jun 20, 2012, 09:37 PM
healed84's Avatar
healed84 healed84 is offline
Young Butterfly
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
I told somebody else today, too She is my best friend I have known here for oh I don't know 15 years and hadn't every said anything. It was good to know that I could share with somebody and it was ok!
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second."

"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Hugs from:
notablackbarbie, Sannah
Thanks for this!
notablackbarbie
  #7  
Old Jun 20, 2012, 10:14 PM
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danizoso danizoso is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Posts: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84 View Post
I told somebody else today, too She is my best friend I have known here for oh I don't know 15 years and hadn't every said anything. It was good to know that I could share with somebody and it was ok!
I am so honored that you shared with me!
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