I'm tired of trying to kill myself.. my will is gone. But I do hope I will die of cancer or some undiagnosed disease soon to end my horrible life so I have nothing to worry about, because I fear even if I did succeed in killing myself, I'd end up in hell, I'm not even that religious, but I'd rather trade this life on Earth for some happiness that I can control what I want to do in my life.
I feel exactly the same way with finances. Society makes you go to school to get a job; then with a job, you can't enjoy your life or kids very much at all. Then you retire or get fired with this economy, like I heard many people have got kicked out of a job before, it makes life a struggle. I didn't create that though, I was born into it.
I don't want to age either. But think of it this way: Our youth is going on to a new life, since we are unable to prevent us from our bodies changing.
It's like this song I have, female singer, dont have her name, but it's a song about having a mental scar... about it being a constant reminder of everything I ever felt "so don't ask yourself why I look at you with such disgrace because you were killin me slowly now I'm bleeding over time my wounds will heal, embedded in my mind is a mental scar." is what she sings. I searched on google, not there. the title should be "Mental Scar" rock song. I don't mean that at all a threat against you, it's something for you against people who make you feel down. probably it's a song that just never made it.. lmao. It's not Three Blind Jacks... lmao.. it's one girl singer. not MJ Law, I don't think... wow, it's not findable... I'll get it next time I'm online.
Yes if this world wasn't so f8teked up, it wouldnt be so bad. I am personally against dying in my sleep for some reason... But we aren't meant to control how we die. At least we will all die someday, sooner or later. The quran teaches that we can't really cause it to delay or quicken. It is a truth. But if anyone wants to deny that being a truth, then they can face up to God their thoughts, not me.