Quote:
Originally Posted by LydiaB
My team. I hate them!
They're forcing me to go back to Sheppard Prat and they're telling me that I have parts that are dangerous and trying to hurt me and I don't believe them. They're so full of crap. I want to stay here with my dog. And then they want me to go to a group home. I was finally starting to see happiness and light and now they want me to enthrall myself in the mental health world.
My therapist left me. Via a letter addressed to my team saying I was too severe and convinced everybody that I am "so sick" and then has been telling me for three months that I am "not sick".
So shouldn't she had been extra sure I'm really not sick, before she went around convincing me I wasn't? "We'll just tell every patient they're not sick. Oops I came across one that was, my bad!"
I wrote her an email today with a few choice words in it. 
I hate them for making me do this. The rest of my team said that if I don't do this that they can't help me either. So what I'm left without services at all? And it's all because of HER and what she said about me. Before she existed they handled me just FINE. We've been together for four years. And if I loose them, then I loose my housing. So I'd be a homeless person that's mentally ill, all because I didn't want to go back to Sheppard Prat. And Sheppard Prat only takes people who are suicidal and I'm NOT. Other parts are. So what am I supposed to lie about that? I'm not lying.
They're forcing me into all this crap that I don't want to do and nobody is listening to what I WANT. |
Lydia Im not sure what to say... in one thread you posted yesterday you sounded angry because your treatment team would not listen to one of your treatment providers telling them you were having a crisis - an alter that was going to harm you and in this thread posted yesterday you sound angry because your treatment team is listening to that treatment provider and is trying to find you the help that will keep you from being harm while this crisis runs its course /gets worked on.
Im sorry but mental health treatment doesnt go both ways.. they can either help you so that you get better and dont get harmed by this alter, or they not treat you and you end up getting harmed by this dangerous alter..
like the saying goes you cant have your cake and eat it too... in this kind of situation they cant not treat you inpatient and keep you safe at the same time.
some people's internal system of alters can be dealt with out patient because the internal system isnt the kind where alters harm the host. but apparently yours isnt set up this way so you require inpatient when your alters threaten to harm you.
I know you dont like inpatient care and yes it may result in what you see as negative - being restrained and loss of housing... but these two negatives also have some positives ...
that alter will learn making threats of harm to you and the internal system will not get the attention they want,
you will be kept safe from this dangerous alter
you have the opportunity millions of DID people dont have...treatment in a specialized program for DID... Sheppard Pratt helping them to learn how to have a better life, Shepard Pratt teaching you and your alters how to get along with each other, there are lots of DID people here where I live and work that would give anything to be able to go to a place like Sheppard Pratt for help in understanding of DID and treatment of their DID.
my suggestion go in there, do whats needed to be done and come out all the more healthier for it.