Exactly. That's not what I'm planning on doing at all. The fact that I needed to call T last night is what made me realize that I may need to find another T. I've been with this T for many years, and I know that he will help me through this transition - I have no intention of calling him "whenever I need to".

Going from so many years of twice a week therapy to no therapy in one sudden moment is a big transition. I'm discovering as I go what I can do on my own, what I still need help with, etc. and working on figuring it out.

I wish I could just KNOW what will come next, but I don't. The most gentle thing I can do is keep an open mind and allow myself to make mistakes that guide me towards the path I need to be on.