I guess re-reading what I wrote and your posts (thanks ) I think all of my life is full on at the moment and I am so tired. T seems to be the only thing I can change (can't really stop going to work, looking after my kids etc.) so maybe T seems the easy option, or yes Perna, maybe that unconscious defence thing is kicking in - but as it is by definition unconscious, I guess I won't know that.

I like the reminder about me being on my own side - sometimes that is hard to remember.

Maybe all those suggestions are good ones - the breaks, either with or without a corresponding T break.

The thing that always complicates it, is that I hate to let people down and T says to give 48 hours notice for a cancelled session - so I generally get this tension coming up to the 48 hour deadline, of should I cancel or not - if I do cancel then I get worried that in the end I will want to go and if I don't cancel, then I have to go even if I don't want to - grrrr!!!