Mala, I don't think what you're talking about is all that strange or different from many people who struggle with dissociation/dispersonalization. The first thing I'd ask is are you seeing or talking to a professional about these feelings? I'm not sure how old you are but I do know that when I was young . . . a LOOOOONG time ago , I used to believe that what I thought or felt was so alien or different from other people my age. It wasn't until I was older, when I talked with many of my peers, that I realized that what I felt was so similiar to what all of them felt. . . I just tended to be more sensitive and reactive to what was going on around me. I FELT it more then they did. . . many of them were able to brush it off or ignore it We are all different in how we handle things and I truly believe that talking to a calm, rational person who might have gone through some of the stuff you're experiencing now is extremely helpful and settling. I hope you're able to find the support and guidance you are seeking. You sound very gentle and sensitive to the world around you!