Thank you everyone for your posts. I haven't been able to talk to anyone in detail about that night and every time I try to, I freeze up and shut down. I don't know why but even after two years, I can't even speak the word out loud or say out loud that that happened to me. It is so hard and I get upset whenever I think about it. Most people say I should have moved past it by now but It's so hard. Thank you for your supporting words. It helps to know I'm not alone.