roadie said it well, gma. a reminder that may help-avoid people, places and things that are reminders of whence we came. it sets off an obsession. i'm confident that's the reason you went "back", not stay forward.
so glad you're back. after falling off the horse get up and get back on the horse. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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