[roads]

Ugh ... Trying to "go home, again" sort of thing, gma? Stinkin' thinkin'?
"Acknowledge, and move on" is my advice. Don't kick yourself--figure out why.

Roadie

[madisgram]

roadie said it well, gma. a reminder that may help-avoid people, places and things that are reminders of whence we came. it sets off an obsession. i'm confident that's the reason you went "back", not stay forward.
so glad you're back. after falling off the horse get up and get back on the horse.

[BlackCat13]

Every hard. I've gone 11 days and it's tempting to get high or wasted. There's very easy access to alcohol here. My mom isn't and alcoholic but she likes to buy many bottles to cook with them. Its hard when shes gives me a slice of rum cake to eat and you can clearly taste it. Sucks, I keep thinking I won't make it for two weeks. I can hardly sleep because of the withdrawals from Xanax. When I'm not doing something to keep me busy, all I want to do is drink.

[roads]

Hey, BlackCat. It's got to be hard to focus on sobriety with rum cake to eat at home. Mom's sure not helping. Have you told her that? All mothers aren't created equal--maybe yours needs a quickie lesson on MomHood-101.
What do you do to keep busy? Are you home for the summer, or just home? Why are you in "withdrawals from Xanax"?
Even if you're just away from some position briefly, you seem to be suffering from food missing something.

Try to fill in this time. See how that come. Permit free time only when all goes terrifically great!

[LostAngel0616]

I've been craving blood like crazy... Am I just a freak? Is there anyone else out there with these cravings?

[madisgram]

black cat you said

I've gone 11 days

rather than focusing on wanting to drink-consider what you have accomplished-11 days clean and sober! in early sobriety we can fall back rather than look forward but we don't have to. clearly you want to rid yourself of the dismal life of abusing drugs and alcohol or you would not have 11 days. just focus on "one day at a time, one minute, one hour and you can do this.
do you attend a 12 step program like AA? if not i'd give it a go. many of us do that. the group of people are so supportive plus in the rooms you will find HOPE that you can stay sober. you will learn how others have coped in early sobriety. you will gain new friends that want sobriety or the wisdom of others who now live sober.
as for your mom-roadie made a good point tell your mom how you feel uncomfortable being around booze. surely she would rather see you overcome drinking and drugs? another suggestion-leave the room if liquor is around. that is a trigger for us. take a nice walk. or do what i was told- sing a song. i know that sounds weird but while singing you find you cannot think about booze at the same time. the brain is busy with the lyrics not the alcohol.
please keep posting. we can support your efforts too.

[roads]

Originally Posted by LostAngel0616

I've been craving blood like crazy... Am I just a freak? Is there anyone else out there with these cravings?

Human blood? I don't think that would be an addiction issue, since blood isn't a drug. Not sure where to look for experience with one, ((((LostAngel)))).
Roadie

[notz]

I was weeding while the unsuccessful yard sale was happening. Spouse was on the porch, I looked up and said, "you know what I'd like about now"? She said, "what"? I said, "a beer and a cigarette". She said, "well, it's been 19 and 14 years (respectively) since you've had one or the other, do you really want them"? I said, "no, it's just that sometimes it pops into my head from out of no where. Guess it's time for a meeting".

[roads]

These sorts or thoughts are going to "pop" at us, I think--regardless of how long or strong a sobriety we've got. They're just always floating around out there, and depending on circumstances and whatnot were gonna walk into some now and then. Some bounce off us, some burst in our faces.
I think we're lucky when we can give immediate voice to these fleeting thoughts and have them heard, reflected.
I get in trouble if I dwell on them, but if I'll just accept the small warning, go to a meeting, get back with the program ... avoids real trouble, in my experience.
Thanks for the reminder, notz and spouse.
Roadie

[kare2bear]

feeling crappy.. lots of thoughts of using . Relationship issues are causing major anxiety and stress. And no.. I have not been to meeting. I was thinking of trying and NA one, just to mix it up.

A sucess: I went to workout instead of going home to isolate

[LostAngel0616]

Feelin pretty good so far today. Had a wondeful morning at work, and Ii might get called in again at 4. just hope home isn't too stressful today... Have been doing pretty good at not smoking. I think work is helping. Its a busy-body job, always something to do. Speedway is awesome!

[LostAngel0616]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Human blood? I don't think that would be an addiction issue, since blood isn't a drug. Not sure where to look for experience with one, ((((LostAngel)))).
Roadie

I know its not a drug... But I crave it like it is...

[beauflow]

keeping to my promise to myself-- no emotional escaping-- no drinking, no pot, god forbid if I got my hands on some stronger drugs like coke... no.. i have too much to lose and I need to find away to cope with how i feel on certain subject with a certain person. i just want to get away from this "reality" that i have to be put through. art is not interesting right now- I doubt i can sit still for that long, ranting on pages i write does not help I just get more angry/upset. My head hurts, i have already taken some "excdrine" like over the counter migraine pills- but i will not break my promise to myself. It wont do any good with how i feel right now

[roads]

Originally Posted by LostAngel0616

I know its not a drug... But I crave it like it is...

Okay, I hear you ...
but it isn't. I guess it needs to be treated somehow,
but i'm not sure how. Im pretty sure not the way we'd
deal with alcohol.

How do others feel?

[trixielou]

i havent smoked crack since last fall but ive only been sober from alcohol since april. i go to group therapy where theres a lot of good christian people & im keeping my four mile walks up every day. i pray a lot and read my Bible & ive started back to church so all those things combined keep me away from the boooze and the drugs. i used to smoke crack like crazy & its a wonder i didnt have a heart attack or something but thankfully thats done.

[gma45]

High Ho High Low Back to meetings I go! Have been having some health issues so it is the best place for me!

[LostAngel0616]

Tryin' to stay sober today. I think I took one or two too many of my klonopin yesterday (it was a very trying day), cause I woke up stumbling all over the place and completely uncoordinated. I have a therapy appointment on tuesday, I want to try either welbutrin or paxil instead of the klonopin. And my prozac isn't doing anything for me, even at 20mgs. So I want to change that, as well. Any suggestions? I'll do my research, I just need a place to start from.

[LostAngel0616]

Haven't taken any klonopin for the last two days. Haven't really felt like I needed it. (I'm suppose to take it as needed.) Think I sort of scared myself the other day... I woke up in an almost completely drunken state after taking either 1 or 2 too many, on accident, throughout the day the other day. Not sure if I'm gonna take one tonight... Only if I can't sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow for a therapy appointment. So I just might, incase I get the effects again. So I can make my therapist awear of it first hand.

[roads]

Originally Posted by LostAngel0616

Haven't taken any klonopin for the last two days. Haven't really felt like I needed it. (I'm suppose to take it as needed.) Think I sort of scared myself the other day... I woke up in an almost completely drunken state after taking either 1 or 2 too many, on accident, throughout the day the other day. Not sure if I'm gonna take one tonight... Only if I can't sleep. I have to wake up early tomorrow for a therapy appointment. So I just might, incase I get the effects again. So I can make my therapist awear of it first hand.

I think you need to physically check in with a doctor. You seem to need more "hands-on" control than a therapist can provide. Just my opinion.

Roadie

[LostAngel0616]

Originally Posted by Roadie

I think you need to physically check in with a doctor. You seem to need more "hands-on" control than a therapist can provide. Just my opinion.

Roadie

I'm going to set up an appointment with my doctor soon. My body chemistry is all messed up... Until then, work is making me feel good about myself.

[beauflow]

I have been good- nothing but caffeine and those damn cigs... I still feel emotionally spent however, and still want a break from this world of mine at times.... but I have to remember that this time right now, will pass.

[madisgram]

re lostangel's post roadie said

Originally Posted by Roadie

Okay, I hear you ...
but it isn't. I guess it needs to be treated somehow,
but i'm not sure how. Im pretty sure not the way we'd
deal with alcohol.

How do others feel?

i did a little research before replying. it appears obsessing re blood may stem from some other psychological problem that needs to be addressed. in other words there's an underlying problem not blood itself. so the need comes out "sideways" since it's not being addressed. working with a therapist may enable one to identify the real problem. journalling will help too. by writing down your daily thoughts you may find what's bothering you that leads to the release of blood obsession. it's only a symptom of an underlying cause, imo.

[LostAngel0616]

Doin' pretty good today. Nothing taken other than what I've been perscribed. Wish I could get my hands on some molly, though, and get into a good club. Haven't been for almost a year now. I miss it...

ive tried to stay sober for such a long time, and always end up back on it, it sucks ***!

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by othermoonboot

ive tried to stay sober for such a long time, and always end up back on it, it sucks ***!

welcome new member to pc!
i did the same thing years ago. that vicious cycle of failure. have you been aware of what leads you to the drink? is life too painful for you? there are solutions. i had to become willing to look at those demons and heal myself. then i found sobriety. i found a new life devoid of alcohol. i no longer needed to numb myself. i offer you hope. glad you posted. there's lots of support for you here. you are not alone.