Rainbow, I can't pretend to know what the answer is for you. I can only comment on what I see, and that is acknowledging that what you are doing hurts you, and that it is going on and on and on without changing. I do agree that you have made minor changes over the years - you no longer drive past Ts house and you no longer google information of them over the net - but although these changes were 'big' for you to go through, in the grand scheme of things they are but a drop in the ocean.
I look at your last T session, and you made three posts about it, and ALL of them were about your T... about what she was doing, how you are connected to her, how you feel about her, similarities between you, etc etc.
It makes me wonder - if you took T out of the equation, what would you talk about? If therapy were just about YOU what would you say?