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Originally Posted by Luce
Rainbow, I can't pretend to know what the answer is for you. I can only comment on what I see, and that is acknowledging that what you are doing hurts you, and that it is going on and on and on without changing. I do agree that you have made minor changes over the years - you no longer drive past Ts house and you no longer google information of them over the net - but although these changes were 'big' for you to go through, in the grand scheme of things they are but a drop in the ocean.
I look at your last T session, and you made three posts about it, and ALL of them were about your T... about what she was doing, how you are connected to her, how you feel about her, similarities between you, etc etc.
It makes me wonder - if you took T out of the equation, what would you talk about? If therapy were just about YOU what would you say?
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It's interesting that you say that about "the equation" because a few weeks ago my T told me something she had just made up and insisted on writing down on a piece of paper and giving to me: "It's not taking me out of the equation; it's puting your "self" in there too!" So, that's where I am now. Putting my Self in there too, with her, not excluding her.
Now to answer your question. There are two questions implied.
1. If therapy were just about me, and not about her, what would I talk about? That already exists, and I have posted about my sessions like that. I've talked about my Mom and Dad, my H, my brother, my friends, my kids, my grandchildren, my work when I used to work, my hobbies, my religion, and more. I'm not going to post details online all about private information.
We do meditation and talk about mindfulness. I don't want to leave out EMDR. I've done it on a variety of issues, most not having to do with my T. I've talked a lot about shame and my body. So, of course therapy is not only about my T and my relationship with her.
2. Why do I talk mostly about my T-relationship on this forum? I'm not going to divulge details about my life, things that are NOT about my T, though I have at times. Too much, I think. There is no other place to talk about feelings for my T. A lot of other posters' threads are about the same issue, so I come here for understanding, where I don't have to be ashamed of my feelings. (it doesn't seem so safe to do that in the main forum since my thread, though
). I also try to do it INSTEAD of emailing my T right away. I post here first, and then see if I still want to email her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by geez
I know this question may seem overly simple and I'm not sure if it applies. Just something that popped up n my brain. I'm not just asking this question to you but myself as well:
Is it possible to be addicted to therapy ('therapeutic relationship')or a part of therapy (attention, love, genuine interest)?
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I'm always felt and told people that I'm addicted to therapy! There is something called "love addiction", and I have a book about it. I forgot the title exactly, but it does exist. You can probably google "addicted to love" or "love addiction". But I think I'm totally addicted to therapy because of the attention I get, and because of the feelings I get when I'm in the session and feel connected to my T. The intensity, whether positive or negative. I think it's some kind of hormonal thing. Really I do. It feels sexual but not really. I don't feel it exactly the same way with anyone other than a T.