I recommend a documentary called 'Secret'.

Not all people like it, and I also did not like it 3 years ago, and called it absolute trash..

But now, after watching it, I truly know how our mind works. You can stop hurting yourself by realizing that you really do not want to hurt yourself.

I have a habit of pity-ing my self and whining about how hard my life is. But after I changed my mindset to that of 'problem-solving' for myself, I am now trying to get any help I can. Starting from 'mindfulness' therapy sessions to hypnotherapy.

About your weight issue, it is unhealthy if you think it is unhealthy. And if you think more about it, more depressed you become, and thus losing your will to truly problem solve.

It is not easy. Accepting yourself is the hardest thing to do, and I struggle with it myself alot although I have been doing meditation and self telling for some time.

I hope I did not offend you with my reply. Or and I have been treated rudely in my life because of my weight too. I am much healthier then people who are a lot worse than me, but it is a bad tradition of Korea to say bluntly to people 'wow you are fat, you seriously need to lose weight'.

Don't worry. You are not the only one who felt depressed about weight and hated others for being so mean with it. But what can I do? I try hard to lose it, and I just have to accept that yes I am bit 'fatter' than people