gosh, just words sans wisdom here.

I think the hot mess IN AND OF ITSELF will help make this a more subdued experience. As time goes by and I get distance (ha!) from my old cold distant therapist (henceforth to be known as OCDT), the out of control rage and longing to make things "work" gets abated some....I'm starting to see the whole thing as exposure therapy.

I like the notion of a controlled burn. The flames are still needed but no houses are going to get sacrificed. go with this analogy! When people do controlled burns, they have fire trucks standing by. They know wind directions. The lay of the land. What aspects of your emotion response can be predicted? What strategies willl you bring to bear if things flare too much...and how will you know. I think you may even want to bring this analogy to the atention of your new T.

This strikes me as good thinking and real awareness. Plus, I like the image, being an air sign myself....