Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
Thanks for replying, tigergirl. I was starting to wonder if everyone on the forum got together and decided, for "rainbow's own good, not to post in this thread".  Thank you for the hugs Adel, Lola, eastcoaster and Chopin.
I have copies of all the handouts from the online DBT class that I started about 8 years ago or so, and never finished. I suppose I should reread them.
It's really about missing my T.  I felt connected to her when I emailed even though I knew she wouldn't reply. Now I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, even though I have a lot of events going on in RL.  A whole dimension of my life is being taken away and it seems like an effort to find anything as good. I know I sound pathetic and ungrateful for the life I have, which from the outside, looks great. I've got to accept how I feel and still move on. Easy to write, hard to do. |
Hard to do, yes. Sorry...after I gave you the hug, I started a reply, then got into a long conversation with my H and never finished.
Seriously, I think you are me sometimes.
I was able to learn many of the DBT skills on my own. T1 gave me those handouts and helped me some. I never did a group.
We always want what we can't have. Even when what we already have is great. On T's recommendation, I started a gratitude journal. It works because it keeps telling me what I have to be grateful for. Maybe you should try it. When you feel this bad, anything is worth a shot!
Seriously, the gratitude journal is helping me more than I thought it would.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightsky
The author talks about the fact that kids need to be able to experience failure and disappointment and struggle in order to be able to cope with the big disappointments and struggles that they're likely to experience as an adult. They're basically saying that if we sweep in and save our kids from all of their bad feelings, they'll never learn the skills they need as adults through coping with the child-size things that happen.
I know you said your mom was maybe overprotective. I wonder if some of what you are experiencing is the result of that? If you never learned to deal with small disappointments, it would be very hard to know how to deal with big ones!
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My mom, for all her emotional absence was overprotective. I have looked for "rescuers" ever since. It is very hard for me to cope with disappointment, but I'm learning. Great point, nightsky, great point. Thanks!!!