I was wondering that too, stopdog, as I posted. I think T is saying that it's a problem for those around me because the other person feels controlled. They experience me as demanding. T is also saying that it reduces the meaningfulness of what they do for me, because they were 'made' to do it. To be honest, I don't fully get the 'meaningfulness' argument. Perhaps it reduces the meaningfulness to them, but not for me. What is meaningful to me is getting what I need when I need it. I suppose it is problematic for me because it drives away the people I most want to be with me. And because I never learn that others will do what i need without me asking (if this is true, which I'm not sure about).