Quote:
Originally Posted by minneymouse
I was wondering that too, stopdog, as I posted. I think T is saying that it's a problem for those around me because the other person feels controlled. They experience me as demanding. T is also saying that it reduces the meaningfulness of what they do for me, because they were 'made' to do it. To be honest, I don't fully get the 'meaningfulness' argument. Perhaps it reduces the meaningfulness to them, but not for me. What is meaningful to me is getting what I need when I need it. I suppose it is problematic for me because it drives away the people I most want to be with me. And because I never learn that others will do what i need without me asking (if this is true, which I'm not sure about).
|
Getting what a person wants is ok but are you a person who pushes boundaries?
I have a friend who is like this and I liken it to my 7 year old who has been told no and then comes back to me a few minutes later and asks for the same thing with a slightly different alteration to see if I'll then say yes (instead of respecting the first no). It has gotten to the point where our friendship is in jeopardy because I'm feeling very defensive in our conversations. Anytime she asks me what I'm doing that day I feel I have to be 'busy' with something to do or she will ask me to do her a favor. I don't mind doing favors but not every day
I have my own problems and my own life I need to deal with
There have been several occasions when I've done a favor for my friend and I really didn't want to do it. Not to mention the 1 hour of watching her kids that turned into 4
