Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl
It is good that you realize this is a trigger for you. I hope you can reach a point where you can understand that trauma for each individual is their trauma, and comparison is not really possible. We have soldiers coming back in droves from war traumatized and struggling with PTSD. Their pain and struggle is no less than mine from childhood trauma. Different. Yes. Less than. No.
A few years ago, my husband was walking the property at the hotel where he works when a woman threw herself off the 9th floor balcony in order to kill herself. She literally landed in front of him, and she was not dead. He held her and administered aid until the paramedics arrived; the whole time she was begging him to let her die. He was very traumatized by that event. Not a childhood trauma, but extremely traumatizing to him.
One thing we learn is that our pain and trauma is very individual and really cannot be compared to any degree to the severity of anyone else's pain and trauma. It is all painful and very difficult to recover from. I hope you can find healing from your own pain.
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Thank you Chris.
I can surely understand how each one's trauma is
different.
that is the key word to me-- different.
I believe that when a child goes through a
life threatening trauma(similar to a soldiers trauma, life threatened by gun, knife, being burned and such)-- it writes on the child's newly developing identity. (like, NOT a SINGLE PERSON is trustworthy since the child has only known a handful of people in their short life and they all let that child down) Whereas when an adult-- that already has a developed identity and many positive and negative experiences, goes through a life threatening trauma-- I believe it is a whole other ball game.
"Different"-- not anywhere near the same.
and that traumatized adult gets to DECIDE if they get help in coping with it or their acquaintances might help them cope-- where an abused child has no such avenues-- only left on their own to decipher what they will from such a trauma.
-- not pointing a finger at you-- but, I'm just wondering-- have you ever had your life threatened? held at gunpoint, knifepoint or had bullet holes in your property? I'm sorry to say I've had experience to know how different it is as a child compared to when a young adult.
I've had traumas as an adult and I've dealt with them and worked/healed from them in MUCH different ways than I have from the traumas from childhood. The ones as an adult affected me deeply, of course, but they didn't imprint on my developing identity. IMO--- it is VERY very different.
Children are NOT short adults.
(not saying this to you Chris-- not anyone even-- just saying it is all)
I don't know how to explain this very well.... I am so NOT good with communication-- I know what I mean in my head-- just can't get it out from the mind
so that others understand what I'm saying... arggggg...
shaking as I type this.... blech......
so fearful of being misunderstood..... misunderstandings have lead to horrible things happening both as a child and an adult.....
I hope someone out there understands me....
fins