I'm feeling pretty down tonight. I know it's a normal reaction to situational things in my life right now. Pretty much I'm going to be leaving my current employer for a better opportunity with a higher pay and better hours and while I'm excited about this and happy to be in this position, I feel sad and scared about leaving my comfort zone. But, the fact that I am so bored with my current job and so comfortable is reason enough to leave. I need challenges, change and to continually learn to adapt.

I hate that my experience with bipolar moods has me hyper alert to even normal periods of stress. It's like part of me wants to tell me I'm stuck in this zone where I need to be careful and worry, "what if I'm going to become depressed?" "What if I'm 'crazy' and can't handle it?" And I wonder if being off meds now is a good idea but, I do not want to go backwards.

Ultimately, I'm hopeful. It's just the unknown making me anxious I'm sure so, I'm trying to stay positive and not let myself fall into that pit of helplessness. I'm trying not to use the past to predict future events and besides, it isn't as if I haven't made major changes before and haven't dealt with it.

I know lots of posts here are about bipolar symptoms and coping with that but, what about stable periods and that nagging knowledge of the hell you've been in. Normal emotions aren't so alien from mood episodes, they're incredibly different of course but, remind me anyway. So, I guess I just deal with it and keep on hoping.