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  #1  
Old Aug 11, 2012, 11:17 PM
cocoabeans's Avatar
cocoabeans cocoabeans is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,122
I'm feeling pretty down tonight. I know it's a normal reaction to situational things in my life right now. Pretty much I'm going to be leaving my current employer for a better opportunity with a higher pay and better hours and while I'm excited about this and happy to be in this position, I feel sad and scared about leaving my comfort zone. But, the fact that I am so bored with my current job and so comfortable is reason enough to leave. I need challenges, change and to continually learn to adapt.

I hate that my experience with bipolar moods has me hyper alert to even normal periods of stress. It's like part of me wants to tell me I'm stuck in this zone where I need to be careful and worry, "what if I'm going to become depressed?" "What if I'm 'crazy' and can't handle it?" And I wonder if being off meds now is a good idea but, I do not want to go backwards.

Ultimately, I'm hopeful. It's just the unknown making me anxious I'm sure so, I'm trying to stay positive and not let myself fall into that pit of helplessness. I'm trying not to use the past to predict future events and besides, it isn't as if I haven't made major changes before and haven't dealt with it.

I know lots of posts here are about bipolar symptoms and coping with that but, what about stable periods and that nagging knowledge of the hell you've been in. Normal emotions aren't so alien from mood episodes, they're incredibly different of course but, remind me anyway. So, I guess I just deal with it and keep on hoping.
Hugs from:
ChristySpirals, Victoria'smom
Thanks for this!
Beebizzy

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  #2  
Old Aug 11, 2012, 11:56 PM
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emgreen emgreen is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9,645
Quote:
Originally Posted by cocoabeans View Post
Normal emotions aren't so alien from mood episodes, they're incredibly different of course but, remind me anyway. So, I guess I just deal with it and keep on hoping.
Bingo! Bango! Bongo! I have a close BP friend who constantly reminds me not to blame "normal" happiness or sadness on BP at every turn. While we should be on guard for symptoms of a crash, or a flight into the stratosphere, emotions are a fact of life for everyone. You're spot on with your observations.

...one concern, however. You're not taking your meds? For me, at least, that way lies madness, cocoabeans. I don't mean to nag, but that's the way things are for me.

Good luck with the new job.
  #3  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 12:50 AM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Location: Northern California
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I am really happy for you! I know you have had enough, more than enough, with your current employer. I remember your post that the job was a 7th grade level of intellectual challenge. You clearly need more than that. That is a positive turn of events, plus extra money would be nice and better hours would be very very nice. What a joy!
  #4  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 01:27 AM
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Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
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You're right, your feelings are situational and in proportion to what's happening. CONGRATZ on your new job! you can do this coco, even without a chemical safety net. I understand wanting to stay in your comfort zone, even when you hate it, but I like to think of new endeavours as an adventure. And my new motto? 'I'm ready'. For what? Everything! Even when I don't feel ready, I know I am, coz bp'ers were BORN READY, thats how we survive. I'm really happy for you.
Thanks for this!
Beebizzy
  #5  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 07:19 AM
Anonymous32912
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0 View Post
. And my new motto? 'I'm ready'. For what? Everything! Even when I don't feel ready, I know I am, coz bp'ers were BORN READY, thats how we survive. .
best thing i've read all day..!!
  #6  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 09:46 AM
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Kahrey Kahrey is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by emgreen View Post
Bingo! Bango! Bongo! I have a close BP friend who constantly reminds me not to blame "normal" happiness or sadness on BP at every turn. While we should be on guard for symptoms of a crash, or a flight into the stratosphere, emotions are a fact of life for everyone. You're spot on with your observations.
I definitely struggle with this. I'm continually afraid that my emotions are normal when they aren't and vice versa. Sometimes it's hard to know what is a result of bipolar, and what is a result of a situation.

By the way, congratulations on the new job!
  #7  
Old Aug 12, 2012, 03:57 PM
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cocoabeans cocoabeans is offline
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Awe! Thanks guys! Much appreciated responses from all!
Thanks for this!
hamster-bamster
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