Quote:
Originally Posted by tallwaters
Thanks for the input. I think i have been mixed for a few days. Im better than i was but the other day i thought i was losing my mind. I called the counselor. I felt content one minute then all mixed up with irritability and fustration. I was full of anxiety and panic and felt distant from myself. Like lost. my thoughts were very loud in my head. I wanted them to shut up. I felt like I wanted to cry but couldnt. It was awful. Now i have some irritability and fustration and some anxiety but my thoughts are not screaming at me that was the worst.
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Feeling distant from myself is ususally a good indicator I'm about to have an episode. When I have an episode I feel like part of me is just exploding or errupting, and another part of me is very still and quiet, watching from a distance and although that part of me is trying to stop it, it is almost powerless.
Once it's over I usually feel better, shaken but better. It's horrible and scary and I hate it, but it's like some type of pressure has been released.
Another thing about it is that as I build up toward it, I often feel like I am "going crazy" or losing my grip on things.
Kristiemarie: make sure you talk to your pdoc or psychologist about it next time you see them, or if it is happening again give them a call. It sucks to have to deal with it alone.