Difference in cycles

What is the difference in a mixed cycle and a rapid cycle? Thanks

A rapid cycle is that you are still only one mood at one time, it just might change very quickly. A mixed state you have symptoms of both at the same time. I have both.

The way it works for me when I'm mixed is that I have racing thoughts, pressured speach, and I feel hyper. Yet I also feel worthless, irritable, can cry at the drop of a hat. It bascially feels like my bones are trying to claw their way out of my skin I'm so aggitated. I usually am worst at reading at these times, and things make little sense to me when I do read. I want to get up and race around yet have 0 energy, and I want to be doing something constantly, but everything is boring. I have horrible anhedonia (lack of joy or interest) at these times, and everything I do frustrates me but I also get extremely bored. And I am like a powder keg in that any small thing can send me into what I call an "episode" which is where I basically have an explosion of emotions (crying, yelling, anger, and possible SI at that point.) Mixed states tend to be very dangerous in that they do push toward the more dangerous aspects like SI or suicidal thought (although I don't have many suicidal thoughts anymore, which is a blessing.)

This is just my experience with my own mixed states.

Wow dark heart....that sounds a lot like me. I'm...well, I'm surprised. When the pdoc asked me if I ever felt mixed I said no. But I guess my perception of mixed was skewed because what you said hit the nail on the head. Thanks. I now have a name for what I feel.

Thanks for the input. I think i have been mixed for a few days. Im better than i was but the other day i thought i was losing my mind. I called the counselor. I felt content one minute then all mixed up with irritability and fustration. I was full of anxiety and panic and felt distant from myself. Like lost. my thoughts were very loud in my head. I wanted them to shut up. I felt like I wanted to cry but couldnt. It was awful. Now i have some irritability and fustration and some anxiety but my thoughts are not screaming at me that was the worst.

Feeling distant from myself is ususally a good indicator I'm about to have an episode. When I have an episode I feel like part of me is just exploding or errupting, and another part of me is very still and quiet, watching from a distance and although that part of me is trying to stop it, it is almost powerless.

Once it's over I usually feel better, shaken but better. It's horrible and scary and I hate it, but it's like some type of pressure has been released.

Another thing about it is that as I build up toward it, I often feel like I am "going crazy" or losing my grip on things.

Kristiemarie: make sure you talk to your pdoc or psychologist about it next time you see them, or if it is happening again give them a call. It sucks to have to deal with it alone.