He didn't abuse me. Or at least I extremely doubt it... If he did, the memory isn't there... I doubt the accuracies of my memories.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=242118
^Whats in that link happened to me.
A few years after those events, my Dad told me I deserved it/worse. and that brought my hate lv. from about a 5/10 to a 7/10.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shezbut
I am curious if you're still living at home, with your parents? How old are you?
In certain times of our lives, we can become quickly enraged by silly things that parents or siblings do. We usually don't go to the extreme of dark fantasies though. Especially if we weren't suffering major trauma due to BIG mistakes or maltreatment.
I never developed hatred towards anyone other than myself, really. So it is a little tough for me to understand where you are coming from. Are you seeing a T, to help you work through this hatred towards your father? I don't think that hatred towards anyone is healthy. That anger is heavy and it can be real tough to keep your behavior appropriate with such darkness following you. Please do seek the help of a T asap.
Take care of yourself.
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Yes, I still live at home. I am 18. I can't leave home because I am still in high school... and I don't have enough money to live more half a month in even the cheapest apartments locally. I can't get a job, because school is enough of a struggle anyways.
Yeah, I live with dark fantasies... my father isn't the only person that I have thouht of killing... it isn't right... even when I sleep, I dream of killing, death, corpses, and worse...
I had a T around the time of first suicide attempt when I was 7. I will never get another T.