It's okay, Big Mama.

It seems as though you're on the border of really getting into your deep anger and resentment. I think that's good ~ rather than bottling it up & merely torturing yourself with self-blame and self-hate. You need to let these frustrations out.

I'm happy to listen and pleased to offer feedback or a shoulder, if that's what you're seeking. So, don't worry that you shouldn't be making posts like these. Okay?