Alas, I knew I shouldn't, but I would intervene when my husband starting yelling at my sons. It just triggered a protective mechanism with me because I was yelled at so much when I was a child. At least you have more self-control than I did.

It sounds like you have tried to talk to your husband about your differences but that is getting nowhere. I agree that you could consider asking him to go with you to a family counselor. If he won't go, then see about going yourself.