I agree with both of you. I'd been rejected from a very early age by parents, relatives, my first friends, that I can't have a "normal" friendship. I honestly don't know what that is. The sad thing in my case is looking back on it, I've rejected a number of people in last ten, fifteen years or so without even realizing it or knowing why. I lost my "best friend" in college for the same reason. I drove my husband totally crazy for ten years or more before all these feeling went away with him. I couldn't let it develop with anyone. Not only did I unconsciously know I'd be rejected, but in some back reaches of my mind, I knew I would cause it. I noticed, belatedly, how this last friendship and abandonment developed. It was all me and BPD. At first I did my best to push away, to reject, and when he was able to get through all of that and get me to trust him, I became clingy, manipulative, and demanding. I'm not blaming myself...I'm blaming my mom and the BPD, and I know I'll never be able to have a healthy friendship without getting this worked out. On one hand, I wish I had rejected him at the beginning. I hadn't had a friend in probably 20 or more years and even though I was lonely, I could cope with the BPD most of the time. It would have been a blessing. However, if I hadn't had this experience, I would never have found out about BPD (he discovered it) and I would have eventually found myself in the same situation with no answers and only heartbreak. Even though it's been heartbreaking and hard to deal with, it has given me the hope that it can eventually be conquered. Here's to hope that that happens one day.