(((LookingforCalm)))

Suki made an excellent point, imo. If you don't have children with your ex, you are a very lucky woman. Count your blessings and step away from him completely. There isn't any reason to text one another or talk on the phone. Don't enable him to cause further damage to you and other relationships that he has.

Regarding your lack of faith in ever finding a decent man worthy of your love and attention...have you worked through your emotions in therapy? If you've yet to mourn the end of your marriage, and you're still seeking his true love, than it doesn't sound as though you are ready to have another romantic relationship. Those emotions do need to be worked through, and you can also work on developing healthy relationships to hopefully avoid more heartache in the future.

I wish you the best!