rainbow, i think that is just it. i think it is about your mom and the fact that she isn't around anymore. she was the one who filled all those needs and wants and her absence has left you bereft. no one can replace her but once you have fully grieved the loss of her you will experience some peace. rather than grieving it seems you try to get your Ts to fill the hole that is the absence of your mom. none of them can ever do that though and then you get upset about that. your mom was a one-of-a-kind. she can't be replaced.