Yesterday, I saw my pdoc and all went well, but I hid something from her, the fact that I keep wanting to SI. Today, I cut myself because I have not done it for a while and I am at my breaking point. I am too scared to tell my parents. I can't tell my pdoc because she said that if I cut she will put me in the hospital involuntariy. I am scared to tell my therapist at my day program because she will throw me into the hospital too. I cut myself today because I have so much anxiety from looking for a job that it causes depression and I can't handle the anxiety. My parents don't understand me and want me to get a job. I have been in the hospital 2 times this year. I couldn't do college, I couldn't hold my job and my parents still want me to have a job. They don't get it until it's too late.I am also scared to tell my parents that I SI'd today. My mom thinks I am trying to be lazy about a job, but I'm not. If I didn't have the anxiety, then I wouldn't mind working. I am scared to tell anyone except for online. I just needed to get this out.