It might be. Honestly I expected it to a little bit...I eventually want to be a flight medic partly because that's what saved my life as a baby. I'm nowhere near loving life but there must be some reason I'm still alive today. I just feel drawn to it a bit. Part of why I want to be a paramedic is because I'm already so used to medical stuff, from growing up taking care of my mom and seeing my brother in hospitals and doctors offices all the time. So I knew it would get to me on some level...but not this much and not this soon.
I think once I'm in the program a lot of the worries will go away though, since most of what's bothering me is related to if they'll let me in. As far as how that's bringing up all the other stuff...I guess I just have to deal with it.